Week 9 – Positivity and sunshine

This week I have no idea what I weigh because I missed PT on Friday due to a mother Hubbard of a migraine! I’d like to think that I’ve hit the two stone loss as I was only 1 and 1/4lbs away from it last week, but I’m going to have to wait until this Friday coming to find out my new weight.

My body size and shape is definitely changing and more of my old clothes are fitting me better now which is incredibly motivating for me. Sometimes it’s hard to see the changes in yourself because I see me every day. I did notice that my face looked slimmer in a recent photo though which was nice and I’ve been getting loads of compliments from clients who I see every couple of weeks. It all helps push me towards my end goal, as does the support I get from people I’ve never even met on the Facebook page. I find it amazing the amount of support I have from compete strangers and I think it’s really great how they are so supportive and positive about someone they don’t  even know. So thanks guys!

Today is Saturday though which means one thing….cheat meal! Last Saturday was the first cheat meal that I got to choose myself as the week before I was at my friends wedding. So as it was Easter weekend and most places would probably be booked up on the Saturday evening, I decided to get a takeaway curry from my favourite curry restaurant in Bridgnorth. It was amazing and I made sure I enjoyed every bit. I shared some rice and a naan bread with Chris but I couldn’t finish it all so I didn’t force myself to eat it as I knew I’d feel ill if I did. I had a word with myself before tucking into my curry as I needed to make sure that I didn’t give myself the guilt by what I was about to eat, I wanted to enjoy it and know that it was ok for me to eat it.

I’ve had people asking me whether I felt guilty about having a curry and the honest answer is no I didn’t. There has been the odd occasion where I’ve wondered if it was ok to have, but Sal explained it all to me and I trust her totally, she’s the professional and she knows what she’s talking about. I’ve missed her this week by not going to PT. I always find her inspiring and motivating and her sessions are always great.

I can’t believe I’m nine weeks into my programme, I’m almost half way to losing five stone, I honestly cannot believe it! Knowing that I’m healthier and fitter than I was nine weeks ago feels amazing, and knowing that my body fat has also decreased makes me feel fab! I keep wondering how much I’ll lose by the end of this and if I’ll feel like I need to lose more to be happy. It’s something I’ve always thought about, being the ideal weight for me. I’ve tried and failed many times before but this time is so different. As much as I want to do it I also feel that I have to do it, almost like this is my last chance to be a healthy happy person. I’m 36 years old, I’ve spent so many years being fat and unhealthy. I used to kid myself that I was still the fit, semi-healthy teenager I used to be, the desire to be that person has always been there but the motivation was the thing that was lacking. Now I have that, in so many ways, and I’m doing it!

You’ll have to excuse the waffling, my brain gets carried away and I just have to write it all down!

So overall I feel in quite a positive place, you may have noticed that I can be very up and down, I always knew I was a bit like this but writing these blogs has made me realise how much so. I think it’s been a positive experience so far as it’s made me actually put down how I’m feeling and how certain things make me feel. I like to try and stay positive, sometimes it is hard but if we surround ourselves with the right people then I believe it helps.

I’ll leave it there for now. Have a fab week and enjoy the sunshine (if you get any). Nat X

8 week results- AMAZING

So 8 weeks in.. 1 stone 12, 3/4 down and a huge 26.5 inches lost all over !  Im sure you will agree what an amazing achivement that is already !  I think these results have most certainly made Nat realise that no matter how much she has doubted herself along the way, she is doing it..and doing it so well.

I know it has been a struggle for her some weeks, but she is getting stronger mentally every week and hopefully she will stop doubting her capability really soon.

Cheat meals will make things much easier from here on in, despite the side affects, they will help aid Nats weight loss further. Its the exciting bit choosing what to have each week and im already looking forward to seeing her choices!

Nat trains hard in PT, makes lots of grunting noises and has recently taken to chucking out some swear words here and there, all of which reassure me that she is being pushed.  At the end of each session when I say “all done”,  she disappointingly says ” oh is that it?!” which id like to assume she has enjoyed the session and would have gone on longer …OR she cant wait to get the hell out of there !

We were both so happy with todays results and they confirm that all of her hard work is paying off!  As you can see the photos from week one to now show a huge difference. I cant help but notice that Nat is glowing and looks so much healthier on todays photos. Her shape is changing and you can clearly see where the inches have gone from.

I can get a little too excited on measure day, all of my clients will agree with me on that. But this is what makes my job so worthwhile. If i wasn’t passionate  about it I shouldn’t be doing it.  But Nat…  I do apologise for the ten million ‘well done hugs’ this morning.. I do get carried away with it all hahah.

VERY WELL DONE NAT!! Here is to the next 8 weeks ..lets smash it!! Xx

Week 8 – Sun’s out, guns out!

Today (Friday) was gloriously sunny, and I took the dogs out for a walk before I went to my PT session. Today was the first weigh in after my first cheat meal at my friends wedding on Saturday. I was very nervous as I had no idea what kind of effect it had had on my body. When I got on the scales I closed my eyes and crossed my fingers (yes I actually did this), hoping for a loss or at worst to stay the same. Then Sal happily proclaimed that my cheat meal had done the job and that i’d lost four pounds. I could not believe it, I nearly cried! The realisation of being only one and a quarter pounds away from losing two stone was a bit overwhelming. I have never ever been this close to the two stone mark, it’s not longer a distant target, it’s very nearly flippin’ here! I was so happy and so was Sal, she’s ever so enthusiastic and it really is contagious.

She gave me my new home training exercise program that I’ll be doing for the next eight weeks and we went through it. I couldn’t do all of it though as unfortunately due to me mucking about with one of my dogs I’ve buggered my back up, so I’ve had to be a bit careful with what I’m doing this week. As well as being weighed it was also time to take my measurements and go on the magic scales. Sal was really chuffed with how many inches I’d lost over my whole body, 26.5 I think it was in total, which is amazing. I have definitely been able to tell especially lately with more and more of my old clothes fitting me now.

So, last Saturday, my first cheat meal; I was so worried that I was going to put weight on as I was going to be drinking alcohol as well as having ‘bad’ food. But I really didn’t want to dwell on it because I knew if I did that I would just punish myself and get on a massive downer, so I made the decision to just go with it and enjoy myself, and that’s what I did. I had a very hectic start to Saturday; I was up at 6am as I had to get ready to travel to the hotel in Birmingham where my friend was staying for 9am as I was her and her moms make-up artist for the day as well as a wedding guest. As I was so busy I didn’t have time I overanalyse anything so didn’t think about the food is be eating later on. My new dress fit me perfectly and I did feel really nice, I even had a lady at the venue tell me my eyes looked lovely, it’s always nice to receive a compliment.

Well the wedding itself was amazing and everything went as planned. When we got to the reception I had a glass of prosecco, which was lovely, and I could have quite easily had a second glass but as I hadn’t drank any alcohol in two months and I didn’t want to go overboard I thought it best to pace myself, so I opted instead for a couple of glasses of water. When it was time for the food I chose a mixture of things on offer, I didn’t think about any calories or fat, I just chose the things I wanted to eat, and I didn’t overload my plate either. I had a good amount but not too much that I felt like I had over indulged. As for alcohol I didn’t have hardly any after my prosecco thanks to a headache. Thanks for that body!

On a plus note I am really surprised that I didn’t give myself a hard time about eating what I did, I honestly thought that I’d feel really crappy about myself so that was a pleasant surprise. I have his habit of putting myself down so to speak, thinking that I’m not good enough or that I’m not doing this right, I was talking to Sal about it today and even though I must be doing it right and I can obviously do it because I am, there’s still a part of me that doesn’t believe! Not sure if that makes sense or not, it’s hard to explain how I feel sometimes and what’s going on inside my head. But in saying that, this week hasn’t been a negative one, not at all, I’ve felt OK, lots better than how I was feeling last week. I was just worried about putting weight on, which I didn’t…go me!!

So I now have a huge decision ahead of me, I have to decide what I want to have for my second cheat meal. I literally have no idea, I want everything! I don’t want to waste it by eating something that’s not special enough. That sounds weird! But I know what I mean, it has to be worthy. Man, I’m thinking waaaayy too much about this. I do think there is still a little bit of me that’s worried it might make me put weight on, I think it’ll take me a few weeks to get used to it to be honest.

So overall a positive week, I’ve felt OK in myself and after my weigh in today I feel amazing. Realising how close I am getting to the goal of five stone is great, I’m nearly half way there. That’s just mad!

Week 7 – Rage against the spray tan

I.’ve had quite a productive week workout wise, I think the sun making an appearance has definitely helped with this, it makes me want to be more active. I’ve been lying in bed at night unable to sleep thinking about going for a run, which is great, but not getting to sleep at night plus early mornings equals tired grumpy Natalie who just wants to eat breakfast, drink tea and get ready for work!! I’ve actually felt more like doing exercise on an evening after work as opposed to a morning which is not like me at all as I normally prefer to get it done in a morning.  I’ve been putting in extra effort with my exercise as on Saturday my friend is getting married and it’s my first ‘cheat’ (I’m having some alcohol and cheat food) so I’m worried I might put some weight on. I’m going to try my absolute hardest after Saturday to eat 100% perfectly and exercise my ass off as I’d love to lose a bit of weight next Friday. I really don’t want to put any weight on whatsoever, if I don’t lose anything then I’d at least like to stay the same, but we shall see.

At my weigh in today I had lost 3 and 1/4lbs, taking my total weight loss to 1 stone, 8 and 3/4 lbs. I have 5 and 1/4lbs left to get rid of until I hit a 2 stone loss. Exciting times. PT was great today, Sal had me doing circuits which was hard but the time went so fast. I looked minging though as I’d had a spray tan yesterday in preparation for Saturday so I had lovely brown beads of sweat rolling down my neck, yummy!!

So physically this week has been great, but mentally it’s been a crap week. I’m on a right downer and I can’t seem to pull myself out of it. I’ve tried to cling on to little positives throughout the week but it hasn’t really helped. The way I feel has nothing to do with this challenge, it’s just my life in general. I feel so unbelievably low and fed up, and I don’t really know how to get out of it. I do get like this sometimes where I just wake up and everything feels shit, there’s like a big cloud of doom hanging over me and I can’t escape from it. My mind is all over the place when this happens and all I do is cry.
I feel like two people at this point, when the suns out I’m the Natalie who wants to be positive and tries to hold on to every little positive thing, then there’s the side of me where I struggle to find the positives and I focus on the negatives, unintentionally but it happens.

My mood has definitely lifted today though which is good, Ive been mental busy at work and I have a really busy day on Saturday as I’m doing my friends make-up for her wedding and I’m really excited about the whole day. I’m not sure how I’ll feel when I’m about to eat my cheat food, I haven’t given it much thought because I’ve been so busy, I’m just hoping I don’t feel guilty after eating it. I don’t think I will because Sal knows pretty much what I’m going to be eating so it’s not like I’m being sneaky and scoffing my face without her knowing. It’s also going to be the first time that I’m having alcohol since January. I’m not a massive drinker so I need to make sure I pace myself and make sure I drink plenty of water so that I don’t wake up with a monster hangover. Having a hangover on Sunday will also most probably make me want to eat the wrong things so it’s very important I don’t go overboard.

So I’ve got my new frock and I’m ready to have a bit of fun on Saturday. I’ll let you know what happens next week.

Week 6 – Bring Sally up

Six weeks on and 1 stone 5, 1/2lbs down with 2 1/4lbs gone this week. I’m getting there!

This week started with a lovely much needed relaxing weekend away in St Ives with my hubby. We left the hounds at home with my mom (thanks mom) and I made sure I packed my gym kit and my weights as I wanted to do my at-home PT plan that Sal gave me, which I did. I did my first one on Saturday evening whilst tea was cooking and I had The Voice on the TV to distract me, which worked. I also got a little run in too which I haven’t done in ages. It’s the first one I’ve done this year and It felt good to be running again and the park was a lovely place to run around. As we were staying in self catering accommodation for the weekend I wasn’t really worried about food as I knew I’d make most of it myself, but I did want to go out so I had to choose carefully.

We went to a place called Hub, it’s right on the seafront in St Ives and it does the most amazing burgers and milkshakes ever. I didn’t have either of these though as they did a grilled chicken superfood salad which I thought I’d try and it was absolutely amazing. So much so that I had another one on Monday lunch time before we left for home. I could have also eaten at Harbour fish & chip restaurant, they do ‘posh’ fish and chips which are delicious, but they do grilled fish without the batter which I’ve had before. You can choose salad instead of chips but I enjoyed the Hub salad so much that’s why we went back there. It’s nice knowing that there are places that do tasty healthy food while I’m on holiday.

From about Tuesday onwards I felt like I was struggling mentally, while I was away I ate some dark chocolate buttons, I’d only planned to have a couple just to take the edge off but I ate the lot, which I regretted as soon as I’d done it. Granted it was only a small bag and dark chocolate is a better choice than milk or white but I was so angry and annoyed with myself for doing it and it made me feel like I’d let everyone down. I was on such a downer I had to message Sal and tell her how I was feeling. I cried to myself whilst writing out the message and cried reading her reply. She was fantastic as usual, and incredibly supportive. I know what I need to do I just need to reprogram my brain and start thinking about food in a different way. My brain is still thinking I’m on a diet when I’m actually not, it’s a lifestyle change and I need to get my head around that. I thought I’d got it but obviously not. I’m hoping that when I lose two stone something will click as I’ve never lost that amount before and it will be a completely new experience for me. I’m at the point in my journey where I’ve been before when I’ve been on diets in the past and this is the point where I self sabotage, unwittingly, and I end up putting the weight back on and more. I don’t know if that’s what’s causing me to feel this way, I need to stay strong and positive. I have so much support in doing this, I think I need to believe in myself a bit more.

I went to today’s PT session so scared in case if put weight on but luckily I had lost some. As usual I had a fab workout with Sal, she asked me if she’d told me about ‘bring Sally up’ and I had no idea what she was on about but now I do. Pain, pain is what it means! It’s basically evil squats to a whole song, you start in a squat and when it’s says ‘bring Sally up’, you can come up out of the squat then ‘bring Sally down’ takes you back down into the squat. Not so bad you might think but there are times when you’re down and it feels like forever until you hear the words ‘bring Sally up. Omg it’s a killer!

I have my friends wedding next week so this week I need to put extra effort into everything as my first cheat meal will be at the wedding. I’m really nervous about it so want to make sure my body is ready for it! Plus I need to buy a new outfit so that’s a good reason to push myself too.

Week 5 – The gun showdown

This week I have stayed the same, no weight loss – boooo! I have had an incredibly hectic week; I’ve finished decorating my new salon and have moved so much furniture out of my old salon and into the new one, this coupled with ridiculously late nights and very early mornings means I haven’t been eating at the correct times. I’ve essentially forgotten to eat so have done so when I’ve remembered which has had a negative impact on my weight loss and I’ve learnt this is not good.  Thankfully my salon is now finished and I won’t be doing any more midnight decorating, thank god! I know what I need to do this week and I’m going to do it. I’ve got a few days off and I’m going to relax (and exercise of course)!

So after my non-existent PT session last Friday due to illness, my good friend Lynz, who is getting married in a couple of weeks and who is also seeing Sal for PT sessions, challenged me to up my weights for my at home PT as we both have really weedy arms. She pretty much challenged  me to a ‘gun showdown or a press up competition on the dance floor’ (her words) at her wedding, so I upped my weights, haha, she can look out lol!

This weeks PT was good, it was hard work but I needed it after my crappy week last week. I do feel like I’ve let Sal down by not losing any weight this week, and I don’t like feeling like that. But I do need to remember that this is just one week out of the rest of my life, what’s done is done, so I shall learn from it and move on. There’s no point dwelling on it because it’ll just make me feel worse about myself and I don’t want to fall into disliking myself again as that does me no good at all. I work better as a person when I can be positive, so I need to remember that.

Since starting this challenge, I’ve only really drank water, tea and coffee, I’ve avoided pop, even diet or low calorie stuff. The other day, out of curiosity, I decided to try some Diet Pepsi to see if I still had a love for it. I have no desire to drink any more. I have always loved diet Coke/Pepsi so I was surprised how it tasted when I tried it. I think I’ll just stick with my water and a nice cuppa thanks.

I’ve noticed my body has changed, in both shape and strength. I have felt stronger when I’ve been moving a lot of my furniture around, up and down stairs. Certain things feel easier to do because my body is getting in better shape, I can even pull myself up onto the back of my dads pick-up truck (I borrowed it to move stuff). I was always able to pull myself up into it but when I borrowed it six months or so ago, I tried to pull myself up onto the back and I couldn’t, so when I managed to this time I felt good. It probably sounds really daft but it’s little accomplishments like that that keeps me going.

I’m aiming for a good loss next week, I need to make up for this weeks rubbish weigh in.

Week 4- A momentous occasion- Jeans that fit!

This week I have lost another 2lb, taking my total weight loss in four weeks to 1 stone 3, 1/4lbs.

I didn’t do Friday’s PT session as I woke up with a migraine and felt awful. I’m not sure if it’s because I’ve been so busy this week with moving business premises, I feel like I haven’t had time to think, but the good thing about being so busy is that I’ve not really thought about bad food as I haven’t had time to.

Towards the end of the week I was feeling a bit down, I can’t explain why, I just get like it sometimes. I have moments of self doubt and don’t feel good enough. It passes quite quickly now though so it only lasted a few days and I feel ok now, which is good.

When I woke up last Saturday morning I felt great, then I stood up and realised how much my abs, arse and shoulders were hurting, so I sent Sal a lovely thank you message! Lol. But all my hard work is paying off, on Saturday evening I got ready to go and see my parents and decided to try on a pair of jeans that I’d bought a few months ago that were, let’s just say, a little but snug! Well they only bloody fit me, so I tried a top on that I’d outgrown, and that fit me too. I felt amazing. It’s times like these that make me feel so dedicated and positive about what I’m doing.

I have to concentrate on the positive as much as I can and believe that I do deserve this.

Week 3 She-Ra to Wonder Woman

So week 3 concludes with a fantastic 6.5lbs loss which takes me just over a stone lost in total. When I got on the scales this morning and Sal told me it was a big loss I was ecstatic, and I jumped around and did a little dance, I was so happy.

This week has been lots better with regards cravings, I haven’t really had many and the ones I have had have been easily controlled. I have tried to change the food a little this week as it was getting a bit samey so I’ve had things like fish and chips, don’t panic it’s been the healthy kind using sweet potatoes cut up into chips and baked in the oven and extra lean minute steak and chips. It’s felt quite ‘normal’ to be eating these things and I think because my brain didn’t see them as healthy foods, I wasn’t expecting such a big weight loss.

One good things about this week is that I’ve been pretty much headache free. I’ve had the odd niggle but that’s been down to the fact that I had the lurgy at the beginning part of this week. I definitely sweat it out of me this morning though at my PT session with Sal, it was hard work as usual but I always enjoy pushing myself, and the music she plays for me is awesome. It’s cool getting to work out to Metallica and the likes of.

As usual I’ve had loads of support from friends, family, my clients at work and people I don’t even know. I am always incredibly grateful for this as it does actually help me along so please keep it coming.

Week 2 – Mind over matter

This week has been a huge contrast to last week. I’ve felt pretty rubbish all week and that’s not me being all doom and gloom, I have genuinely felt like crap for the majority of the week and have been suffering with headaches most of the time.

Last Friday was my first weigh in and although I lost 5.5lbs, I felt it should have been more and I think this set me up for a lousy weekend. I was annoyed and upset on the morning and then had a huge  headache which lasted from Friday afternoon until Sunday evening, when it eventually started to subside. Pair that with the biggest chocolate cravings you can imagine and that’s how the first half of this week went. You’ll be glad to know that I didn’t give in to my cravings, I wanted to , God did I want to, but I didn’t and that’s the most important thing.

I messaged Sal for help and she gave me some great advice, and told me to try and keep busy and that it’s a case of mind over matter. So I dragged the other half to IKEA for a really slow meander around. I begrudgingly walked past the packets of mini Daim bars, and cried into my bottle of water! I’m joking about it now because I can. Sal told me the first two weeks are the hardest so hopefully my mad few days of intense cravings are the worst that I’ll get.

This week I lost 4.25lbs, which leaves me with another 4.25lbs to lose until I reach my first stone and I’m hoping to lose that by next Friday. My PT session this week was rock hard! My arms were having a good old wobble by the end of the session and I thought I was going to be sick at one point. I wasn’t, luckily, and it was totally worth it for how I felt afterwards. During my session I was talking about losing weight on different parts of my body and asked Sal if my fingers would get slimmer, she looked at me like I’d gone a bit mad, but as I explained, I bought a couple of Pandora rings in the January sale that could do with being a bit looser, so if my fingers got smaller that’d be just great!

I’m happy to say that after today, I’m entering into my next week feeling more positive and headache free (woo hoo)!

Week 1 -Getting my head in the game

So my first week of personal training is over. It’s already been quite emotional and I’m so very grateful that I have been given this opportunity, I still can’t quite believe it’s happening.

My first session was great, but I spent the next two days making pained noises every time I sat down, stood up, and generally moved! I was a bit scared that my life would be full of pain from this moment on but nevertheless, as soon as I left last Friday my head was in the game, I was determined to do this.

I’ve eaten pretty much the same meals every day, and have tried to prepare my lunches in advance. Because of my job I’ve had to really plan when I’m going to fit my meals in, which has been a bit of a challenge at times but I have managed it ok. I’ve noticed I feel quite hungry a lot of the time but I don’t know whether that’s because my metabolism is working hard or because I am constantly thinking about food. I’m hoping this feeling goes away very soon. It’s been hard watching everyone else at home eating what they want and the hardest time is after my tea in the evening; I would normally have some chocolate or something else sweet but now I can’t and that’s been tough. I haven’t caved though! I have a good strong support unit at home; my husband is great and my daughter is quite firm when she tells me that I don’t need it, which I really appreciate.

Doing the exercises at home has been ok, they’re totally different to anything I’ve done before as I’m using weights. The first time I did them at home I found them really difficult and did a lot of grunting. The dogs were not amused! The last time I did them though It was so much better – maybe it was because I did them in my pyjamas – and I even managed to do the full set of reps none stop on both sets of the most evil sit up move ever! That was a good feeling.

I’ve been looking forward to my first weigh in because I know how hard I’ve worked this week. I lost 5.5lbs in my first week and I was a little disappointed as I thought I’d lose more. I had a little cry mid PT session and Sal figured out that it may have something to do with the joys of being a woman! It’s still a decent loss though and it’s much better off than on and that’s what I need to remember. I’ve had so much support from my friends and people I don’t even know via the Facebook page, it’s been quite overwhelming really.

Overall I have felt pretty amazing this week; I no longer feel lethargic and I have been in high spirits all week so it’s already having a positive effect on my life.