Week 18 – another positive week

This week I’ve lost another 3 & 3/4lbs, making my total weight loss so far 2 stone & 9lbs. I’ve passed the two and a half stone mark and I’m officially over half way to five stone, yay!

I didn’t have a PT session this Friday, instead we did it on Monday due to half term week, and it was actually nice to start my week with a good workout. Sal gave me my new  home exercise plan which we went through and it’s quite tough. The last exercise is a plank type move which hurts like hell. Planks are evil! Needless to say the next day I was a bit achey and was making grunting noises whenever I stood up from seated.

I had my cheat meal at Harvester on Saturday night, I’ve been waiting for what seems like forever to have croutons, honey & mustard and red devil sauce on my salad. It was bliss! I also had an ice cream sundae which was absolutely amazing. I was actually really excited about this cheat meal and I think it’s the most I’ve been looking forward to a cheat meal so far.

I’ve had another relatively positive week this week, Wednesday was a bit wobbly and I woke up feeling a bit low but overall I’ve felt quite good. I ran 3.6 miles on Tuesday and I felt that I could have gone further, I’m really getting into my running and am looking forward to pushing myself. I find it a good way to clear my head and a really positive activity for me to do. Other than the one run and my home exercise plan I haven’t done quite as much exercise as I did last week. I really think that the more exercise I manage to do, the better I feel. The only problem is I don’t always have the extra time to do the extra exercise and I sometimes feel like I beat myself up about it but I know that if I don’t actually have the spare time then I can’t physically do it, I just feel bad about it!

I’ve been trying not to buy too many new clothes as I don’t want to waste money on things that won’t fit me soon. Recently I did buy a new pair of smaller jeans as some of mine were getting a bit baggy after wearing them for a couple of hours. I’ve also bought a couple of new tops a size smaller than usual. That has felt really good and I am really looking forward to buying a new wardrobe when I’m ready.

My confidence levels have increased a bit and I am feeling quite good about myself lately. I have good days and bad days, which I will probably always have, but I am trying to focus more on the good days.

I am heading into next week feeling good, healthy and strong.

Have a great week,
Nat X

Week 17 – The Waterfall

This week has been one of my most positive weeks since starting this challenge. I have been in a fantastic mood since Saturday and I think a lot of that has had to do with the realisation of how much support I actually have; its immense. I’ve also really pushed myself fitness wise this week, I’ve been running twice, one of which was a 3.5 mile run which is the furthest I have ever run. I’ve also been to a Zumba class where I pushed myself really hard and nearly drowned in my own sweat (my friend called me The Waterfall after that class), and I’ve also done my at home exercise plan as usual.

My body has ached a little but I can feel myself getting stronger. At PT today when I was doing some ab exercises, I told Sal that I don’t find them as tough as I did when I first started and I feel like I could do more and that I have more control. Im building up my body strength and it feels great. I just wish my bingo wings would hurry up and bugger off though, they seem to be taking forever to get smaller and will probably be one of the last places to shrink. My biceps are coming along nicely though, which is good. 

Weight loss wise, this week I lost 1/4 lb, which was disappointing because of the amount of effort I’ve put in and I’ve eaten really well too. This is probably due to the fact that it’s that time of the month (sorry guys) and that’s when I’m likely to retain water and be heavier – yeah, cheers for that body! Anyway, I am still incredibly positive and looking forward to pushing myself this week too.

For this weeks cheat meal we’re off to Harvester. I am so genuinely excited to be able to have croutons and dressing on my salad. I haven’t had any honey & mustard or red devil dressing since January and I’ve missed it sooo much. I will probably partake in an ice cream sundae too, I think I might just burst with excitement….hurry up Saturday!!

I’m looking forward to Saturday, not only because I get to eat ice cream, but also because I get two days off from work. I’ve been so incredibly busy this week, which is fantastic for me, but I’m knackered! I do think doing a lot of exercise this week has helped me though as I have found that I’ve been sleeping better and even when I haven’t had the earliest of nights I’ve still been able to get up in the morning without feeling rough.

So here’s to another week, I’m going to push hard again to get to my next stone as quick as I can. The clocks ticking and I have a challenge to meet.

Have a great week
Nat x

Week 16 – A re-education

PT was hard today, my arms are still killing me but thankfully I have no massages booked in at work for the next couple of days so it’s all good.

I am another 2lbs lighter, which means I’ve lost the 1 & 3/4lbs that I put on before I went away on my holidays to Cornwall. My total weight loss is now 2 stone & 5lbs, which is the most I’ve ever lost. I’ve got 11 weeks left and 2 stone & 9lbs (if my maths are correct) to go in order for me to hit my 5 stone target. It’s a scary prospect and it one that I really really want to get to. I need to really focus on thinking about my health, getting as much exercise as I can fit into my life and eat the good stuff.

I work a lot of hours and haven’t been getting in from work until 8, 9 or even 10pm some nights so it is hard to try and fit everything in. I do have to plan time for myself though, for example I won’t work late on a Tuesday as that’s when I like to go running with my friend and I also like to work my home program into that either before or after my run. I usually get another home program in on a Saturday early evening after work and I also try to run then too. I find it works quite well to do the two together.

Speaking of running, I managed to do a 3 mile non-stop run the other day with my friend, it felt amazing and I was really looking forward to doing it because I really needed to clear my head. I think I may have caught the running bug!

I’m still learning about food, I spent so many years focusing on ‘low fat’ options and was never told about saturated fats or sugars, so never paid any attention to them and didn’t really understood them either. Now that I’m eating different foods I  need to re-educate myself about what is actually good food so that I can get the most out of my meals and be healthy.

That’s it from me for this week, take care.

Nat x

Week 15 – A week in St Ives

This last week I’ve been in beautiful St Ives, Cornwall with my lovely mom. We came away on Saturday for a week of relaxation and a much needed break. I have been looking forward to this time away for a few weeks now and knew it would be just the ticket to get my mind back on track after a few mental setbacks recently.

Sunday morning I was up early and got in one of my PT sessions then decided to go for a nice little run. I took my phone with me as it has a running app on it and I wanted to see how far I could run. I managed to do two miles which I was very happy with, especially as I usually run on relatively flat surfaces and here it was very up and down. I ran through the town and finished up on the beach where I took a photo, as you do! Later that day I cooked a lovely healthy chicken dinner for us. I felt so positive and was very much looking forward to a week filled with lots of exercise.

I had the next two days as my rest days as I think running on the uneven surfaces and the uppy downy roads had played havoc with my hips (nothing to do with getting older I’ll have you know) and I was struggling to move.

Tuesday rolled round and I woke up with the most horrendous headache. So I decided I’d get some fresh air and do my PT plan later that day once I felt better. I could feel a cold coming on during the day because my nose and throat were starting to hurt but I didn’t think much of it, I just took some tablets and got on with it. I managed to do the first three sets of exercises on my PT plan, then felt like crap; I was ridiculously out of breath, then I felt sick. So I rushed to the bathroom as proceeded to be sick, twice! (Apologies if you’re eating). I now officially had the lurgy, bloody brilliant! I thought, I’ve come away for a week to have a break from work and the general rubbishness of things, to get some exercise in the lovely Cornish fresh air and I’m ill. As I write this today I’ve just started to feel a little better, which is typical really as I’ll be home by tomorrow.

So when I get home, and I can breathe properly, I need to hit it hard. I haven’t got any scales with me so couldn’t do a weigh in today, which is frustrating as I don’t know how much of an effect this lurgy has had on my weight loss. I’ve exercised, but nowhere near as much as I’d planned, I have done loads of walking though so hopefully it’s all good. I’ll have to wait and see next week to see where I’m at with my weight.

So for now I bid you farewell from sunny Cornwall.

Nat x

Week 14 – Staying positive

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Week 14 – Staying positive

This last week has been a toughie, I’ve gained 1 & 3/4lbs which is not ideal as last week I remained the same. I’ve had a rubbish week health wise and have had a constant headache since last Thursday evening, with the odd migraine added into the mix. I’ve had some tablets from the doctor now though which should hopefully clear them.

I’m not sure why I’ve gained weight this week to be honest, I haven’t eaten anything I shouldn’t have, I’m wondering if it’s a rollover effect from last week maybe as last week wasn’t brilliant food wise, well everything wise to be honest. Anyway, I’ve decided not to dwell on it and to just move on.

I was driving to work the other day and I had a bit of an epiphany; I’m so fed up with focusing on what my body looks like, I’ve done it for as long as I can remember and I’m sick of it. It makes me sad and unhappy to think about how I look. So I thought, if I concentrate on my health, because that’s the most important thing here, and focus on eating the right foods and exercising regularly then I know my health will benefit and in turn so will my body, but without me thinking about it. It seemed so logical when I thought it, I just need to make sure that’s what I focus on now.

I’ve been running once this week and am really enjoying it. I’m off for a week away in Cornwall win my Mom this weekend and am packing my PT plan, my weights and my running gear, I’m planning on doing loads. I think the break away from everything will help me so much mentally. And I’m looking forward to spending some  time with my Mom.

I’m hoping that going away will reset my brain and get me back into the right frame of mind. I’ve had so much stress to deal with the pat couple of weeks that I need to hit the reset button and get back to it.

I’m on a mission and I don’t plan to fail!

With that I’ll love you and leave you. Enjoy the sunshine if you have it and if you don’t, just enjoy!

Nat x

Week 13 – Mid-way meltdown

I’m half way! This should have been a bit of a celebratory blog but it’s not, unfortunately.

I missed my training session today because of a horrendous migraine. They are so debilitating that I generally fail to function as a normal human being. I did weigh in however and due to an utter shite week I’ve managed to remain the same. Not entirely sure how that’s happened to be honest as I feel like I’ve lost my way a little.

Without going into huge detail, I’m struggling with a few things in my personal life and I do not wish to make them public, but unfortunately these issues are having a negative effect on how I see myself in this challenge. I’ve always had a pretty rubbish opinion of myself anyway but I can’t seem to see what other people are seeing at the moment and that’s the weight loss and the change in my body. I know I’ve lost weight because the scales tell me and I know I’m smaller because clothes that didn’t fit me before do so now but I don’t think I’m small enough. I know I was probably massive before, but didn’t see it, so therefore that’s maybe why I’m not seeing the huge difference now, I just don’t know!

So even though I went into this week feeling really positive, shit happened and it became a huge negative mess! I was in Manchester on Monday on a training course for work and on the way there I stopped to grab some food and my old default setting kicked in and I went straight for the chocolate. Not sure what I was thinking there, obviously I wasn’t. Due to personal issues, things just felt like they went from bad to worse. I’m pretty sure that’s why I’ve had a migraine today, maybe it’s a build up of all the stress from this week. Hopefully it’s left me now, I’ve had a chat with Sal, who has been as supportive as always, she always tells me I can do it, she has so much faith in me its ridiculous. I always worry I’m going to let her down, and everyone else who supports me for that matter. It’s so hard to see myself as this person who people believe in, I just need to try and take a bit of that belief I think.

Apologies for a bit of a miserable blog before the bank holiday weekend, I’ll try my best to have a more positive week. Once again thank you for your continued support, it really does mean a lot to me.

Have a great weekend
Nat x

Week 12 – Mmmmm, cocktails!

Another two pounds lost this week, leaving me with two and a quarter pounds to lose until I reach two and a half stone, I can do this!

For this weeks cheat meal I went to TGI Fridays, I had planned on going on the Saturday evening but my other half wasn’t very well so we postponed it until the Sunday instead. It was amazing, I love TGI’s, and I’m enjoying not feeling guilty about having my cheat meal, I fee like I’ve earned it. I also had a cocktail too which made me want to drink more cocktails, but I didn’t. I feel a cocktail night coming on……mmmmmm!

Sal recently posted a trio of photos of me, one when I first started and the other two leading up to last Friday. I’ve had so many positive comments on them which is fantastic.

I’m having difficulty however seeing a big difference, I know I’ve lost weight, and I know I’m smaller but I think my brain is being crap! It’s hard to explain but I’m almost half way through and I feel like I should be smaller, I’m worried that I won’t look how I want to look by the end of it. It’s not about being workout shy because I love doing this, I think it’s my incredibly high expectations of myself which can be great sometimes but also a right pain in the arse at other times. I’m so happy with how I’m doing but I’m feeling a little frustrated too. I know everybody is different and I did talk to Sal about this at PT today, so I know it’s in my head and I think it will take a while for my head to catch up with my body maybe. This is all so new to me because although I’ve lost weight in the past I’ve never done anything like this before.

I’m not disheartened or demotivated, not in the slightest, I’m just a little frustrated with myself and my body. I am going to keep on working really hard because it is becoming more of a normal everyday thing, eating healthily and exercising regularly, it’s part of my life now and that’s what I wanted from the start, so that’s definitely a huge plus point. I think, as usual, I’m just giving myself a hard time because I think I deserve it. I am my biggest critic in everything I do in my life and I should sometimes maybe go a little easier on myself, but only sometimes!

Have a great week
Nat X

Week 11 -Cleaning out my closet

Another 2 & 1/2lbs down this week, so that’s now a total of 2 stone, 2 & 3/4lbs lost.

This week I joined a running club with my friend Steph, we used to go running together years ago and thought we’d give it another go. I started getting into running last year when I managed to do my Couch to 5k but I haven’t really done much this year at all. We’ve been twice so far this week, the second time we ran a bit further, and felt like we’d achieved something and we’ve both signed up to run the 5k colour run in Birmingham in August. We’re going to be raising money for the NSPCC too so if you’d like to support a good cause please follow the link on my Facebook page to my JustGiving page *shameless plug*.

PT this week seemed loads harder than usual, I think it was because my back has been a bit dodgy so I haven’t been pushing myself too hard in case I injured it further but luckily it’s lots better so I worked really hard today. There was lots of sweating, swearing and grunting going on!

I did have a confession to make to Sal though, on Wednesday night after I got home from work, I ate a Cadburys creme egg. I didn’t really think about eating it whilst eating, it but afterwards I felt guilty and annoyed at myself. I was in a funny mood and my head was in another place I think, but I don’t want to slip up again, that’s what my cheat meals are for.

Last weekend I had my cheat meal on the Sunday as we were going out with my parents and some friends. We went for a curry buffet at my favourite restaurant in Bridgnorth. It was amazing, and I was looking forward to it so much. I had a plate full of salad and some onion bhaji, chicken tikka and a strange but yummy aubergine thing for starters, all with a side of mint sauce and mango chutney. Then I tried a little spoon full of two different curries with a bit of rice and naan bread for my main. Then we finished with coffee and I was ready to be rolled out of the door! It’s really hard writing about my cheat meal when I have to wait for my next one to roll around, I’m actually salivating at the moment and funnily enough am craving a curry!  I’ve decided to not have a curry his week though as I’ve had two for cheat meals so far and I need to give some other food a chance. When Sal asked me today if I had been planning my next cheat meal I told her that I really try not to think about it too much because the more I think about this ‘naughty’ food the more I want to eat it, so it’s just better if I have the occasional thought as to what i’d like for my cheat and leave it at that. I usually decide on the Friday evening or Saturday daytime. I’ll let you know what I decide.

Last weekend I decided to have a good wardrobe sort out; I went through all of my clothes and tried them on to see what still fits me, what’s now too big and what still doesn’t fit me. I was surprised at how many items of clothing went into the too big for me pile. It felt really really great and I managed to get into a dress that I bought years ago and have never worn because it’s never fit me. Now it fits me. Ok, it’s a little tight but I reckon in a couple of weeks time, when we have some sunshine, (are you listening weather), it will fit me perfectly.

It has felt really refreshing to sort through my clothes and realising that the things i’m getting rid of will be too big for me forever. I never want to have to buy ‘fat clothes’ ever again, I never want to feel how I’ve felt at my biggest and lowest. I need to leave the bloody creme eggs alone when I feel crappy because I’ll just feel even more crappy afterwards.

I’m heading into this weekend feeling refreshed, positive, and achey!

Have a great week
Nat X

Week 10 – Reaching a milestone

I’m going to start this weeks blog off on a positive note, I’VE LOST TWO STONE!!! I only lost 1 & 1/2lbs this week but it just pushed me over the two stone mark, 2 stone & 1/4lbs to be exact! Never in my weight loss history have I ever lost two stone, I’ve always tried, almost done it, but have given up before I did it. This is a massive milestone for me and although ultimately I feel like I’ve had the week from hell, this means a lot! Ok so it’s not been quite that bad but I’ve been feeling as though I’ve have no control over anything at the moment. I had a twinge in my back the other week from playing around with my dogs and I thought it was getting better at the start of this week but then it just got worse. The twinge became a really painful pain that spread from one side of my back to the whole lower part. It sucks! I’ve been scared to do petty much anything that involved lifting, or any form of bending/leaning as when I do it just hurts. If my back goes i’m knackered; being self employed, if I don’t work then I don’t earn, so I really need to be careful. I’ve been so frustrated it’s unreal and I’ve felt like a fat blob as I’ve not done any exercise this week which makes me feel annoyed with myself.

I had a very gentle PT session this morning, there was a lot I couldn’t do but I managed to do some things. Sal’s advised me on what to do at home this week so that I don’t put any unnecessary strain on my back. It does feel a little bit looser today though so I’m hoping that PT has helped.

On my day off on Monday I went out for the day with Chris and I decided to treat myself to a new top, It felt so good trying it on when it fit me perfectly, and it looked really nice too (even if I do say so myself). I’m feeling a bit more confident in my clothes now and more of my smaller clothes are fitting me and that feels great.

I get to choose another cheat meal this weekend and I really haven’t thought about what to have. I’ve been craving chocolate so bad

In three sessions time I’ll be half way through this challenge, I can’t believe how fast the time has gone. I’m feeling a bit worried that I’m not losing enough weight or not losing it quick enough, I feel really set back this week so I’m hoping that I’ll have a better week this week physically.

I’ll post another pic of my cheat meal on the Facebook page when I have it. I have no idea what to have though, decisions decisions!